Every parent wants their child to do well in school. We encourage, persuade, praise, beg, barter and reward. Especially when it comes to grades.
When it comes to education we’ve been raised to believe that grades matter more than anything else and our child’s ability to score top marks is all but a guarantee of future success. High test scores secure admittance to a high ranking college with professional success to follow. And we start kids early. Sometimes before they’re even born. Opinions abound and advice is freely given. I recall being pregnant with my first child and being told if your baby listens to classical music, even while in the womb, they will be smarter and do better scholastically later in life. I spent hours with headphones on my belly trying to give my baby the best start possible. The madness continues with the “early learning” trend; Jump Start to Reading, Jump Start to Math, Baby Sign Language and the list goes on and on. Parents work hard from day one to ensure their child has the best chance at academic success later in life.
But what if test scores and GPA’s don’t matter as much as we think? A compelling amount of research based evidence shows that social/emotional intelligence may reveal far more about a child’s success later in life than grades alone can predict. Not only their academic success, but their emotional integrity as a happy human being. Ask any parent what their greatest hope for their child is, and the vast majority would say “happiness.” Ahead of academic success, ahead of health and ahead of accomplishment, most parents would agree, more than anything else, they want their child to be happy. So how can we help our kids reach their academic goals and grow into happy, adaptable, adults?
According to the work by McKee, Goleman and Boyatzis (2001) “Emotional and Social Intelligence (ESI) refers to the competencies linked to self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management, which enable people to understand and manage their own and others’ emotions in social interactions.” McKee, Goleman and Boyatzi’s work shows that the missing link in providing a much more accurate explanation of how an individual was likely to be successful in work or life is the role played by how an individual handles feelings or emotions.
This means a child’s ability to recognize and manage how they feel, empathize with others, express themselves effectively and engage in positive social interactions increases their personal happiness, their ability to learn and their ability to make the grades that count.
According to Forbes magazine (November 12, 2014), of The 10 Skills Employers Most Want in 2015 Graduates, Social/Emotional related skills ranked as the top 3.
1. Ability to work in a team structure.
2. Ability to make decisions and solve problems.
3. Ability to communicate verbally with people inside and outside an organization
Further supporting evidence shows Top 5 Qualities on Every Employers Wish List are all social/emotionally guided (September 10, 2013).
1. Empathy
2. Mentoring Inclination and Ability
3. Interpersonal Skills
4. Self-Direction
5. Initiative Flexibility and Adaptability
Academics are undeniably unimportant. You want your child to leave school with the answers to questions such as:
➢ What is 2+2?
➢ When do you use a capital letter?
➢ What is the definition of condensation?
➢ How do you conjugate “run” into the past tense?
But what about the answers to these questions?
➢ What techniques can help our kids decrease test anxiety?
➢ How can conflict resolution skills help kids maintain healthy relationships with others?
➢ How can positive self-talk increase our kid’s confidence and ability to succeed?
➢ What tools are required to manage emotions and connect with others?
The reality is academics do matter, but the road to high academic achievement must be paved by Social/Emotional competency. The way a child manages their emotions and their social interactions are crucial to their overall success Traditional schooling and the obsession over grades needs to shift to a more holistic approach. Human beings are made up of many components. Mental, social, physical emotional and spiritual. These components are connected and we need them all to be happy and successful. This is where the gap exists…
If we want our kids to succeed academically, we need to focus on more than just their report card. The facts are:
➢ Kids can’t concentrate and perform academically when they are anxious.
➢ Kids can’t learn when they feel sad and/or angry.
➢ Kids can’t grow healthy friendship's when they are insecure and don’t know their self-worth.
➢ Kids can’t manage emotions when they don’t understand mindfulness and positive self-talk.
➢ Kids can’t communicate with others or perform well within a team when they lack empathy, confidence and conflict resolution skills.
Providing children with essential skills including empathy, resilience, self-awareness, mindfulness, confidence and communication are equally important to academics. In fact these skills ensure that real learning can take place. Social emotional competency is the X factor successful people possess and it is the skill that employer’s value over all others. To give our kids the strategies to manage their social/emotional well-being is to better equip them for their future; allowing them to reach their ultimate potential.
References:
Teleos Leadership Institute, (2016), Emotional and Social Intelligence, retrieved June 9, 2016, from http://www.teleosleaders.com/howwedoit/emotional.php
Fertig, A., (September 10, 2013) 5 Employee Qualities on Every Employers Wishlist, retrieved June 9, 2016 from http://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/outside-voices-careers/2013/09/10/5-employee-qualities-on-every-employers-wish-list
Adams, S., (November 12, 2014) The 10 Skills Employers Most Want in 2015 Graduates, retrieved June 9, 2016 from http://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2014/11/12/the-10-skills-employers-most-want-in-2015-graduates/#69f3577b19f6
Jodi Johnston-McNiven
President, Seedlings USA
Jodi Johnston holds a Social Service Work Diploma and a Bachelor of Arts Degree with a concentration in Psychology. She has over 15 years’ experience, working in 4 countries, as a facilitator/teacher in various capacities including life skills, corporate trainer and professional and personal development. Also a mother of 2, Jodi’s commitment to the Seedlings program and The Magic Coat workshops stems from a strong desire to provide young people with the Social/Emotional skills needed to succeed in life.
www.seedlingskids.com
jodi@seedlingskids.com
When it comes to education we’ve been raised to believe that grades matter more than anything else and our child’s ability to score top marks is all but a guarantee of future success. High test scores secure admittance to a high ranking college with professional success to follow. And we start kids early. Sometimes before they’re even born. Opinions abound and advice is freely given. I recall being pregnant with my first child and being told if your baby listens to classical music, even while in the womb, they will be smarter and do better scholastically later in life. I spent hours with headphones on my belly trying to give my baby the best start possible. The madness continues with the “early learning” trend; Jump Start to Reading, Jump Start to Math, Baby Sign Language and the list goes on and on. Parents work hard from day one to ensure their child has the best chance at academic success later in life.
But what if test scores and GPA’s don’t matter as much as we think? A compelling amount of research based evidence shows that social/emotional intelligence may reveal far more about a child’s success later in life than grades alone can predict. Not only their academic success, but their emotional integrity as a happy human being. Ask any parent what their greatest hope for their child is, and the vast majority would say “happiness.” Ahead of academic success, ahead of health and ahead of accomplishment, most parents would agree, more than anything else, they want their child to be happy. So how can we help our kids reach their academic goals and grow into happy, adaptable, adults?
Social/Emotional Learning IS the missing link in children’s education today.
So what is Social/Emotional Intelligence?
So what is Social/Emotional Intelligence?
According to the work by McKee, Goleman and Boyatzis (2001) “Emotional and Social Intelligence (ESI) refers to the competencies linked to self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management, which enable people to understand and manage their own and others’ emotions in social interactions.” McKee, Goleman and Boyatzi’s work shows that the missing link in providing a much more accurate explanation of how an individual was likely to be successful in work or life is the role played by how an individual handles feelings or emotions.
This means a child’s ability to recognize and manage how they feel, empathize with others, express themselves effectively and engage in positive social interactions increases their personal happiness, their ability to learn and their ability to make the grades that count.
According to Forbes magazine (November 12, 2014), of The 10 Skills Employers Most Want in 2015 Graduates, Social/Emotional related skills ranked as the top 3.
1. Ability to work in a team structure.
2. Ability to make decisions and solve problems.
3. Ability to communicate verbally with people inside and outside an organization
Further supporting evidence shows Top 5 Qualities on Every Employers Wish List are all social/emotionally guided (September 10, 2013).
1. Empathy
2. Mentoring Inclination and Ability
3. Interpersonal Skills
4. Self-Direction
5. Initiative Flexibility and Adaptability
Academics are undeniably unimportant. You want your child to leave school with the answers to questions such as:
➢ What is 2+2?
➢ When do you use a capital letter?
➢ What is the definition of condensation?
➢ How do you conjugate “run” into the past tense?
But what about the answers to these questions?
➢ What techniques can help our kids decrease test anxiety?
➢ How can conflict resolution skills help kids maintain healthy relationships with others?
➢ How can positive self-talk increase our kid’s confidence and ability to succeed?
➢ What tools are required to manage emotions and connect with others?
The reality is academics do matter, but the road to high academic achievement must be paved by Social/Emotional competency. The way a child manages their emotions and their social interactions are crucial to their overall success Traditional schooling and the obsession over grades needs to shift to a more holistic approach. Human beings are made up of many components. Mental, social, physical emotional and spiritual. These components are connected and we need them all to be happy and successful. This is where the gap exists…
If we want our kids to succeed academically, we need to focus on more than just their report card. The facts are:
➢ Kids can’t concentrate and perform academically when they are anxious.
➢ Kids can’t learn when they feel sad and/or angry.
➢ Kids can’t grow healthy friendship's when they are insecure and don’t know their self-worth.
➢ Kids can’t manage emotions when they don’t understand mindfulness and positive self-talk.
➢ Kids can’t communicate with others or perform well within a team when they lack empathy, confidence and conflict resolution skills.
Providing children with essential skills including empathy, resilience, self-awareness, mindfulness, confidence and communication are equally important to academics. In fact these skills ensure that real learning can take place. Social emotional competency is the X factor successful people possess and it is the skill that employer’s value over all others. To give our kids the strategies to manage their social/emotional well-being is to better equip them for their future; allowing them to reach their ultimate potential.
References:
Teleos Leadership Institute, (2016), Emotional and Social Intelligence, retrieved June 9, 2016, from http://www.teleosleaders.com/howwedoit/emotional.php
Fertig, A., (September 10, 2013) 5 Employee Qualities on Every Employers Wishlist, retrieved June 9, 2016 from http://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/outside-voices-careers/2013/09/10/5-employee-qualities-on-every-employers-wish-list
Adams, S., (November 12, 2014) The 10 Skills Employers Most Want in 2015 Graduates, retrieved June 9, 2016 from http://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2014/11/12/the-10-skills-employers-most-want-in-2015-graduates/#69f3577b19f6
Jodi Johnston-McNiven
President, Seedlings USA
Jodi Johnston holds a Social Service Work Diploma and a Bachelor of Arts Degree with a concentration in Psychology. She has over 15 years’ experience, working in 4 countries, as a facilitator/teacher in various capacities including life skills, corporate trainer and professional and personal development. Also a mother of 2, Jodi’s commitment to the Seedlings program and The Magic Coat workshops stems from a strong desire to provide young people with the Social/Emotional skills needed to succeed in life.
www.seedlingskids.com
jodi@seedlingskids.com
