by Pennie Sempell

With recent tragic stories of cyber-bullying, I am reminded that the age-old behavior of bullying is taking yet another form. So what to do if your child comes home from activities away from home, and tells you about an incident that might be abusive or bullying?

Here are words of advise from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Resources as part of a campaign “Take A Stand. Lend a Hand. Stop Bullying Now.”:

1. Focus on the child. Be supportive.
2. Gather information about the bullying incident
3. Never tell the child to ignore the bullying
4. Do not encourage physical retaliation
5. Contact your child’s teacher or principal
6. Do not contact the parents of the child who bullied – let the school do that
7. Help your child become more resilient and learn safety strategies
8. Help your child make friends outside of the school
9. Always maintain open lines of communication with your child
10. If the problem continues, go back to school officials.

Obviously, in a home school setting, the recommendations to go to school authorities do not apply.  What then? If the incident happened in connection with an organization, e.g. the soccer league, talking with the coach might be a place to start. If no organization was involved, it may be necessary to deal directly with the other child’s parents.  To achieve optimum outcome, good communication skills will help.

My skills as a wellness educator were furthered when I was trained in mediation as a young lawyer, followed by special training in peer counseling at a middle school. Peer counseling programs, with adult supervision, involve children learning how to talk through and resolve conflicts. Many conflicts can be neutralized in peer counseling settings. 

Learning conflict resolution skills is an invaluable aid in life, for all ages.  Make it a priority to learn about and practice resolving conflicts in your home.

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Working with physicians and psychologists at a major medical center, former teacher and mediator, Pennie Sempell, JD, ACMT specializes in integrative healing arts and mind-body therapies.  She has written, performed and produced award-winning programs for children with a focus on health literacy.  www.HealthierHappierLife.com.