by Shelley Tzorfas
Question: My child can talk for hours on the phone with a friend, but when I ask him or her to write a few sentences or a paragraph, they are unable to do so. Is this because they are stubborn? What could I do?
Answer: We all know kids who can talk endlessly, but cannot write, not even a single sentence. There are many reasons for this. Sometimes it is a form of Dyslexia. (See previous articles.) Sometimes they gaze around the room or out the window.
Some writing programs and instructors have become narrowly focused on grammar. They have unwittingly become experts at teaching children how NOT to write. They teach NOT to forget a period, NOT to forget to capitalize the beginning of a sentence or a proper name, NOT to forget a comma, how NOT to write a run on sentence, and so on.
Now, imagine you are learning to drive a car and the instructor tells you NOT to forget to look out the window, NOT to forget to stop at the stop sign, NOT to forget to stop at the red light, make sure NOBODY is crossing the street, look out for cat or dog, watch for a child’s ball at every house in case it rolls down the driveway, and so on. How far would you get?
Would you stop the car in front of every house looking for a rolling ball, a red light, or stop sign? Would the car be doing the “Cha-cha-cha”? Or would the driver be confident and handle the driving with ease? Yes, these cautions are important but the point is to learn HOW to drive, not how NOT to drive.
The same is true with writing. When the child stares out the window, they are actually having a private self-talk in their mind. They are asking themselves what they should be writing about, or how to make their story perfect. How come others know great vocabulary words on paper? What time is it? When will this be over? They analyze too much, tending to erase more than they write.
Sometimes I call this The Perfect Draft Syndrome. Their need for perfection coupled with a need not to forget the period, capital, and comma, freezes them.
This could be termed “erase-itis”.
Instead, start with a simple exercise. For example, have them pick up an object from the desk or table where they are sitting and describe it. Have them start by writing simple sentences in order to build a solid foundation leading to the joy of writing.
Also, the writing exercise can be turned into a guessing game in which the reader would try to identify the object. For instance, “it is made out of plastic, it is blue and white, you can hold it in your hand, and it sometimes makes a clicking sound. One end is pointed and you can write with it”. By this point the reader has hopefully figured out this object is a pen.
Another solution for those who gaze around the room is to have them jot down a list of one or two words in the margin in order to get their ideas out of their heads and onto paper. Once they make the list they just have to make a sentence about each word.
With practice your children might be ready for an even more enjoyable exercise. They can write a play about an argument where they want something and you do not. Here is an example:
CHILD: Mom, can I have a pet iguana?
PARENT: No.
CHILD: Why not?
PARENT: Because you already have a dog and don’t take care of it.
CHILD: I do too!
PARENT: When was the last time you walked it?
CHILD: Yesterday.
PARENT: What about today? Doesn’t he need to be walked today? Must I always remind you?
CHILD: But I don’t have to walk an iguana.
PARENT: Well, it’s too expensive.
CHILD: I have money from Grandpa.
PARENT: I can’t stand the smell!
CHILD: I’ll clean the cage.
PARENT: Clean the cage? Did you make your bed this morning?
CHILD: I promise I’ll make my bed every morning if I can get an iguana.
PARENT: That’s what you said when you got the dog!
Now what child can resist the urge to argue? The idea is to have the ideas flow. The grammar is to be tweaked, not the other way around.
By creating or recreating this dialog in the form of an argument -- something kids already have been naturally doing verbally all their lives -- they are in the EXPERIENCE and FLOW of writing a play. After all, writing could be playing, couldn’t it?
SHELLEY TZORFAS is the Founder of Specialized Tutoring/Learning Assessments, and has been tutoring students with ADD, ADHD, Dyslexia as well as undiagnosed kids for nearly twenty-five years.
Shelley views Dyslexia as a "processing of information problem, either in the visual, auditory or kinesthetic mode," and strives to educate the general public about learning disabilities.Like other dyslexics, Shelley has had varied, successful careers. These range from appearing on a PBS documentary, and exhibiting artwork in museums. She is currently writing a book on learning differences.
Shelley, nee Gelfman, is a single mother of two boys and lives in New Jersey. She is available for consultation and/or tutoring, and may be reached at her website at www.betterschoolresults.com .
Her email is stzorfas@gmail.com , phone number is (908) 735-9053.
Question: My child can talk for hours on the phone with a friend, but when I ask him or her to write a few sentences or a paragraph, they are unable to do so. Is this because they are stubborn? What could I do?
Answer: We all know kids who can talk endlessly, but cannot write, not even a single sentence. There are many reasons for this. Sometimes it is a form of Dyslexia. (See previous articles.) Sometimes they gaze around the room or out the window.
Some writing programs and instructors have become narrowly focused on grammar. They have unwittingly become experts at teaching children how NOT to write. They teach NOT to forget a period, NOT to forget to capitalize the beginning of a sentence or a proper name, NOT to forget a comma, how NOT to write a run on sentence, and so on.
Now, imagine you are learning to drive a car and the instructor tells you NOT to forget to look out the window, NOT to forget to stop at the stop sign, NOT to forget to stop at the red light, make sure NOBODY is crossing the street, look out for cat or dog, watch for a child’s ball at every house in case it rolls down the driveway, and so on. How far would you get?
Would you stop the car in front of every house looking for a rolling ball, a red light, or stop sign? Would the car be doing the “Cha-cha-cha”? Or would the driver be confident and handle the driving with ease? Yes, these cautions are important but the point is to learn HOW to drive, not how NOT to drive.
The same is true with writing. When the child stares out the window, they are actually having a private self-talk in their mind. They are asking themselves what they should be writing about, or how to make their story perfect. How come others know great vocabulary words on paper? What time is it? When will this be over? They analyze too much, tending to erase more than they write.
Sometimes I call this The Perfect Draft Syndrome. Their need for perfection coupled with a need not to forget the period, capital, and comma, freezes them.
This could be termed “erase-itis”.
Instead, start with a simple exercise. For example, have them pick up an object from the desk or table where they are sitting and describe it. Have them start by writing simple sentences in order to build a solid foundation leading to the joy of writing.
Also, the writing exercise can be turned into a guessing game in which the reader would try to identify the object. For instance, “it is made out of plastic, it is blue and white, you can hold it in your hand, and it sometimes makes a clicking sound. One end is pointed and you can write with it”. By this point the reader has hopefully figured out this object is a pen.
Another solution for those who gaze around the room is to have them jot down a list of one or two words in the margin in order to get their ideas out of their heads and onto paper. Once they make the list they just have to make a sentence about each word.
With practice your children might be ready for an even more enjoyable exercise. They can write a play about an argument where they want something and you do not. Here is an example:
CHILD: Mom, can I have a pet iguana?
PARENT: No.
CHILD: Why not?
PARENT: Because you already have a dog and don’t take care of it.
CHILD: I do too!
PARENT: When was the last time you walked it?
CHILD: Yesterday.
PARENT: What about today? Doesn’t he need to be walked today? Must I always remind you?
CHILD: But I don’t have to walk an iguana.
PARENT: Well, it’s too expensive.
CHILD: I have money from Grandpa.
PARENT: I can’t stand the smell!
CHILD: I’ll clean the cage.
PARENT: Clean the cage? Did you make your bed this morning?
CHILD: I promise I’ll make my bed every morning if I can get an iguana.
PARENT: That’s what you said when you got the dog!
Now what child can resist the urge to argue? The idea is to have the ideas flow. The grammar is to be tweaked, not the other way around.
By creating or recreating this dialog in the form of an argument -- something kids already have been naturally doing verbally all their lives -- they are in the EXPERIENCE and FLOW of writing a play. After all, writing could be playing, couldn’t it?
SHELLEY TZORFAS is the Founder of Specialized Tutoring/Learning Assessments, and has been tutoring students with ADD, ADHD, Dyslexia as well as undiagnosed kids for nearly twenty-five years.
Shelley views Dyslexia as a "processing of information problem, either in the visual, auditory or kinesthetic mode," and strives to educate the general public about learning disabilities.Like other dyslexics, Shelley has had varied, successful careers. These range from appearing on a PBS documentary, and exhibiting artwork in museums. She is currently writing a book on learning differences.
Shelley, nee Gelfman, is a single mother of two boys and lives in New Jersey. She is available for consultation and/or tutoring, and may be reached at her website at www.betterschoolresults.com .
Her email is stzorfas@gmail.com , phone number is (908) 735-9053.
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