by Amanda van der Gulik
Do you like helping others?
Are you one of those people that jumps at the chance to help your friends whenever they need a hand?
If not, no worries, usually that just stems from not wanting to go out of your comfort zone and that’s a topic for another day.
Today let’s just focus on how good it feels when we help out our friends and family…those who sincerely appreciate our efforts.
(Yes, I’m totally aware of how frustrating it can be when you are constantly being asked for help by someone who doesn’t appreciate your efforts – but again, that’s a discussion for another day.)
Let’s stay focused here!
Let’s paint the picture here: your friend is having a really rough time. Maybe she’s going through a tough divorce and has no place to live, no income, no clothes or food for her kids. Oh yes, you do know someone like that right?
Good.
(No, not good that someone is going through that, good that you can appreciate the need for help…and that you have the desire to help make life good again for her.)
Okay, now think about it….
How does if feel when you are a part of making her world a better place?
♣ Maybe you can offer free daycare for her while she gets back on her feet.
♣ Maybe you a secret angel, one who simply drops off some much needed groceries at her door.
♣ Maybe you put in a good reference for her helping her to land that new job that will help her pay the bills, not to mention the lawyer’s fees!
The point here is that is FEELS GOOD to help someone else in need.
And guess what?
It’s a selfish feeling!
Oh don’t worry….it’s not a BAD feeling…it’s just a self-satisfying one…and that’s a VERY GOOD thing!
Why?
Because besides making a positive change in our world, you are creating the desire to….
Do it again, and again and AGAIN!
And it’s TOTALLY okay to want to help others because it makes you feel good!
So, no, you do not have to feel guilty about that.
It’s how we operate. And if we know that we operate that way then we can make sure that we use that
wonderful feeling to create more good.
Hey, think about it…if it felt bad to help someone else…then we wouldn’t want to do it again, right?
Oh be honest, we would avoid it like the plague!
So what we want to do is use this feeling to start showing our kids how wonderful it feels to help others.
Why?
So they help others!
Okay, but this article is about ‘asking for help’ NOT about helping others, huh?
Yes, that’s right but in order to understand how to ask for help you need to understand how we work. Why we want to help help. Then you will know how to ask for help in a way that actually gets you the help you’re wanting.
And get this….
By asking for help…you’re actually giving someone else the opportunity to feel good about themselves!
Bet you never thought of it like this before did you?
I know I sure never did!
I was raised to always be the one helping, never to ask cause that would be putting others out. That would not be a good thing.
And yet, there I was helping others!
Were they putting me out?
NO!
They just needed some help and as a nice side-effect it made me feel good to be that help.
When I realized this it opened a whole new world for me.
I always saw asking for help as begging. Read more...
Amanda uses story-telling to teach children and teens the fundamentals of money so your child will learn these in a fun and memorable way, without feeling like they're being TOLD what to do! Amanda has been a special guest on Radio Disney, featured in The Costco Connections Magazine both in Canada and the USA and on numerous parenting shows around the globe. For a short time, Amanda is giving away 7 FREE Gifts for Teaching Children About Money at www.TeachingChildrenAboutMoney.com, make sure you grab yours before they go away!
Do you like helping others?
Are you one of those people that jumps at the chance to help your friends whenever they need a hand?
If not, no worries, usually that just stems from not wanting to go out of your comfort zone and that’s a topic for another day.
Today let’s just focus on how good it feels when we help out our friends and family…those who sincerely appreciate our efforts.
(Yes, I’m totally aware of how frustrating it can be when you are constantly being asked for help by someone who doesn’t appreciate your efforts – but again, that’s a discussion for another day.)
Let’s paint the picture here: your friend is having a really rough time. Maybe she’s going through a tough divorce and has no place to live, no income, no clothes or food for her kids. Oh yes, you do know someone like that right?
Good.
(No, not good that someone is going through that, good that you can appreciate the need for help…and that you have the desire to help make life good again for her.)
Okay, now think about it….
How does if feel when you are a part of making her world a better place?
♣ Maybe you can offer free daycare for her while she gets back on her feet.
♣ Maybe you a secret angel, one who simply drops off some much needed groceries at her door.
♣ Maybe you put in a good reference for her helping her to land that new job that will help her pay the bills, not to mention the lawyer’s fees!
The point here is that is FEELS GOOD to help someone else in need.
And guess what?
It’s a selfish feeling!
Oh don’t worry….it’s not a BAD feeling…it’s just a self-satisfying one…and that’s a VERY GOOD thing!
Why?
Because besides making a positive change in our world, you are creating the desire to….
Do it again, and again and AGAIN!
And it’s TOTALLY okay to want to help others because it makes you feel good!
So, no, you do not have to feel guilty about that.
It’s how we operate. And if we know that we operate that way then we can make sure that we use that
wonderful feeling to create more good.
Hey, think about it…if it felt bad to help someone else…then we wouldn’t want to do it again, right?
Oh be honest, we would avoid it like the plague!
So what we want to do is use this feeling to start showing our kids how wonderful it feels to help others.
Why?
So they help others!
Okay, but this article is about ‘asking for help’ NOT about helping others, huh?
Yes, that’s right but in order to understand how to ask for help you need to understand how we work. Why we want to help help. Then you will know how to ask for help in a way that actually gets you the help you’re wanting.
And get this….
By asking for help…you’re actually giving someone else the opportunity to feel good about themselves!
Bet you never thought of it like this before did you?
I know I sure never did!
I was raised to always be the one helping, never to ask cause that would be putting others out. That would not be a good thing.
And yet, there I was helping others!
Were they putting me out?
NO!
They just needed some help and as a nice side-effect it made me feel good to be that help.
When I realized this it opened a whole new world for me.
I always saw asking for help as begging. Read more...
Amanda uses story-telling to teach children and teens the fundamentals of money so your child will learn these in a fun and memorable way, without feeling like they're being TOLD what to do! Amanda has been a special guest on Radio Disney, featured in The Costco Connections Magazine both in Canada and the USA and on numerous parenting shows around the globe. For a short time, Amanda is giving away 7 FREE Gifts for Teaching Children About Money at www.TeachingChildrenAboutMoney.com, make sure you grab yours before they go away!
