“I CAN’T CONTROL MY KID!!” - Part II
by Steven David Horwich
This is an extension of the fifth article in a series answering hard questions dealing with homeschooling. We’re dealing with this question:
- Some children may be a handful for the family to “handle”.
In the last article, we discussed the fact that every child is different, and that difference is GOOD and necessary. This “truth” served us in the last article. Here’s another truth about difficult children.
Truth # 2 – It’s dangerous to try to manipulate human behavior.
So your child is a handful. He’s “difficult”, and you wish he were more “like everyone else”.
I’d be curious to know who that “everyone else” is, given that we are each unique. There is no “normal”. Normal does not exist. It never has existed. There was no “good old day” where “normal” was, well, the “norm”. Normal is a fiction, and when a doctor, a teacher, a psychiatrist or anyone else tries to sell you either on the idea that there “is a normal, and you or your child aren’t it”, or worse, they try to sell you on some drug or methodology for your child that will make him “tractable” and “normal” – grab your child and run for the hills.
It’s interesting to watch “professionals” and “experts” in various fields strive to create a “normal humanity”. Besides being foolish and impossible, it’s an intensely destructive goal. The history books are nothing but the exploits of extraordinary (as opposed to “ordinary” people, both good and bad. It is the extraordinary scientist or politician, the extraordinary soldier or religionist, the extraordinary writer or composer who changes the human world of experience forever. “Extra-ordinary” means “more than ordinary. Not normal – MORE than normal. That is precisely how one is forced to describe a Bach, an Einstein, or a Buddha. If such people had (if such a thing were even possible) been forced into being “normal”, along with their tens of thousands of extraordinary peers, our world would be quite grim, indeed.
What would we lose, should “normal” be institutionalized and required – as educators and certain other disciplines are fighting tooth and nail to accomplish? We lose extra-ordinary. We lose the bright idea, the brilliant novel, the song that sings its way down the halls of time. We lose the insightful investigation of the universes, both the physical and the inner. We lose the impassioned seeking and enlightened triumph of religion. We lose the cure for cancer and the dream of planets far away that might someday be ours. We lose the future when we lose “extraordinary”, and demand “normal”.
“Really, all that”, some of you are mumbling. Yes. Really. All that, and more. Because the truth is, without further invention and inspiration, our purpose as a species is negated. We exist, each and every one of us, to provide the strong shoulders for the next generation to not only stand on, but to leap into the universe from, both hands stretched and reaching. We lose the ability to solve problems.
In insisting on any kind of “normal”, we reduce mankind to the only “normal” that might be available – the lowest common denominator. We reduce the future to the same lowest common denominator for both individuals and the race. In doing so, we guarantee our extinction, and much deserved I’m afraid it shall be.
How do educators go after “normal”. They do it through a carefully designed program calculated to dehumanize and devalue the individual. In a classroom of 40, where one has less than an hour to teach some math fact or other, the individual, the student who thinks for himself, who ‘acts out” and asks questions, is a threat. Yes, I used the word “threat”, which is precisely how most teachers view students, though they will NEVER admit to it in public.
Imagine yourself a teacher. (I’m truly sorry to have to do this to you, and realize it is insulting. Please, just stay with me a bit longer and I promise I’ll NEVER AGAIN ask to to imagine such a horrible thing.) You have a classroom with 35 students or so. The state has mandated that they all get through “Algebra II”, this year, and you’re running out of time. And Poor Little Johnny in the corner keeps “acting up”. He announces that he does not like math much, does not like algebra at all, and he asks way too many questions. Little Johnny is seen to be composing a symphony at his desk, on his “air piano” – because Little Johnny is secretly a composer, and his understanding of actual math far transcends yours, Ms. or Mr. Teacher – music is all about math. But you have a job! A job you are well paid for (in spite of the “promo” teachers relentlessly spout that they are underpaid, one of the great lies of the 20th century). So Little Johnny must be CONTROLLED! He must be confined to Algebra, or drugged (assessed with some nonsense like “ADHD” and chemically “balanced” so as to be, um, “normal”).
You meet with the principal, whose job it is to keep the waters calm, and so he of course agrees that Little Johnny requires controlling. After all, your school is a part of that new government program that PAYS LOTS MORE MONEY to teachers and schools that are “high performers”. So – um, off with the heads of students who are “low performers”. The money must flow.
You insist Little Johnny be seen by the school Psychologist, who “evaluates” the boy. The Psychologist, an “expert” in “normal”, meets with mom and dad and shares the very sad news – “your son is just not normal. He has ADD. He has ADHD. He’s afraid of milk. He talks too much, except when he does not talk at all. He’s too tall, to creative, too Christian, too interested. Your son…” he says with gravitas…”is not NORMAL”.
You, knowing no better, believe this mountebank. And since it seems so important to be “normal”, per the teacher, the principal, and the quack, well – you just want what’s right for your son. (I REALLY understand the desire to do what is right and helpful for our children! Every parent understands that drive. But having a “normal” child is NOT best or right for a child, any child. If you do not understand that or believe it, you have not been reading or thinking carefully enough.)
You want what’s best for Little Johnny. (Substitute your own child’s name here, please.) So, you go into agreement with the “experts” – even though you know your own child far more profoundly or truly than these people ever could. Why agree? Well, they’re “experts”, aren’t they? So the Ritalin or whatever gets prescribed, and a child’s life and individuality takes a huge step toward being destroyed.
Yes, I said exactly what I said, and I have a nephew who is the walking, talking proof of it. So teachers and psychobabilists, don’t bother to write in to defend the harm you’ve done, I’ve witnessed it up close and personally both as a teacher and as a family man, for a long time. And parents, if you’re using such “solutions”, please meet with a qualified medical doctor and find out how to wean your child off, starting today. Restore the hope of the extraordinary to your child – the future starts there.
A child is not a dog. A child is not a pet of any kind, and does not need to be “controlled”. Kept safe, yes. Encouraged and inspired, certainly. Exposed to the world in ways that will interest and enliven him, one would hope.
Children should and must talk, and when they feel like it – not when the “teacher” says its okay, for two minutes between classes. Children must inquire, and explore, and be encouraged to express their uniqueness. Schools are not able to encourage communication or unique views and skills. They are all of them built around the ideal of the “norm”. They are cookie-cutters, putting out identical, reduced human beings. That’s what schools do, and it’s pretty much all they can do, be they public or private schools. I’ve taught in both and saw this to be the absolute case. Grading, report cards, teacher or staff evaluations of the student, classrooms, grade levels, school rules, class schedules, testing and all the other tools teachers claim “expertise” in are each and every one carefully designed to degrade the individual, to stop them from thinking for themselves and to succumb to “authority” – the ultimate goal of the teacher and the school, unstated but nonetheless true.
When we stop the child from talking or asking questions, we stop up curiosity and creativity both. When we demand uniformity (or their outward show, school uniforms), we enforce in the child’s mind the idea that he must be like all others, look like them, act like them, think like them. Teachers LOVE this kind of conformity – it makes for such nice and quiet classrooms. But it is the death warrant for the civilization going that route. Down that road waits the edge of the world, and a very long and silent fall after the last step.
Steven Horwich is an Emmy and Dramalogue award-winning writer/director, who has split his life between the arts and education. A teacher with over 35 years and over 20,000 hours of experience from elementary school through university-level teaching, he started homeschooling his own children in 2002. This led him to author over 300 courses since 2002, a complete curricula (excluding math) for ages 5-adult, called Connect The Thoughts. Over 20,000 people have used CTT since making it available via the Internet in 2007. His curricula is presented at www.connectthethoughts.com. There is over 5 hours of film explaining his courses and approach. He has authored a book about education today, Poor Cheated Little Johnny, and a teacher training program to go with it. He currently presents a free webinar about education and homeschooling every third Tuesday.
by Steven David Horwich
This is an extension of the fifth article in a series answering hard questions dealing with homeschooling. We’re dealing with this question:
- Some children may be a handful for the family to “handle”.
In the last article, we discussed the fact that every child is different, and that difference is GOOD and necessary. This “truth” served us in the last article. Here’s another truth about difficult children.
Truth # 2 – It’s dangerous to try to manipulate human behavior.
So your child is a handful. He’s “difficult”, and you wish he were more “like everyone else”.
I’d be curious to know who that “everyone else” is, given that we are each unique. There is no “normal”. Normal does not exist. It never has existed. There was no “good old day” where “normal” was, well, the “norm”. Normal is a fiction, and when a doctor, a teacher, a psychiatrist or anyone else tries to sell you either on the idea that there “is a normal, and you or your child aren’t it”, or worse, they try to sell you on some drug or methodology for your child that will make him “tractable” and “normal” – grab your child and run for the hills.
It’s interesting to watch “professionals” and “experts” in various fields strive to create a “normal humanity”. Besides being foolish and impossible, it’s an intensely destructive goal. The history books are nothing but the exploits of extraordinary (as opposed to “ordinary” people, both good and bad. It is the extraordinary scientist or politician, the extraordinary soldier or religionist, the extraordinary writer or composer who changes the human world of experience forever. “Extra-ordinary” means “more than ordinary. Not normal – MORE than normal. That is precisely how one is forced to describe a Bach, an Einstein, or a Buddha. If such people had (if such a thing were even possible) been forced into being “normal”, along with their tens of thousands of extraordinary peers, our world would be quite grim, indeed.
What would we lose, should “normal” be institutionalized and required – as educators and certain other disciplines are fighting tooth and nail to accomplish? We lose extra-ordinary. We lose the bright idea, the brilliant novel, the song that sings its way down the halls of time. We lose the insightful investigation of the universes, both the physical and the inner. We lose the impassioned seeking and enlightened triumph of religion. We lose the cure for cancer and the dream of planets far away that might someday be ours. We lose the future when we lose “extraordinary”, and demand “normal”.
“Really, all that”, some of you are mumbling. Yes. Really. All that, and more. Because the truth is, without further invention and inspiration, our purpose as a species is negated. We exist, each and every one of us, to provide the strong shoulders for the next generation to not only stand on, but to leap into the universe from, both hands stretched and reaching. We lose the ability to solve problems.
In insisting on any kind of “normal”, we reduce mankind to the only “normal” that might be available – the lowest common denominator. We reduce the future to the same lowest common denominator for both individuals and the race. In doing so, we guarantee our extinction, and much deserved I’m afraid it shall be.
How do educators go after “normal”. They do it through a carefully designed program calculated to dehumanize and devalue the individual. In a classroom of 40, where one has less than an hour to teach some math fact or other, the individual, the student who thinks for himself, who ‘acts out” and asks questions, is a threat. Yes, I used the word “threat”, which is precisely how most teachers view students, though they will NEVER admit to it in public.
Imagine yourself a teacher. (I’m truly sorry to have to do this to you, and realize it is insulting. Please, just stay with me a bit longer and I promise I’ll NEVER AGAIN ask to to imagine such a horrible thing.) You have a classroom with 35 students or so. The state has mandated that they all get through “Algebra II”, this year, and you’re running out of time. And Poor Little Johnny in the corner keeps “acting up”. He announces that he does not like math much, does not like algebra at all, and he asks way too many questions. Little Johnny is seen to be composing a symphony at his desk, on his “air piano” – because Little Johnny is secretly a composer, and his understanding of actual math far transcends yours, Ms. or Mr. Teacher – music is all about math. But you have a job! A job you are well paid for (in spite of the “promo” teachers relentlessly spout that they are underpaid, one of the great lies of the 20th century). So Little Johnny must be CONTROLLED! He must be confined to Algebra, or drugged (assessed with some nonsense like “ADHD” and chemically “balanced” so as to be, um, “normal”).
You meet with the principal, whose job it is to keep the waters calm, and so he of course agrees that Little Johnny requires controlling. After all, your school is a part of that new government program that PAYS LOTS MORE MONEY to teachers and schools that are “high performers”. So – um, off with the heads of students who are “low performers”. The money must flow.
You insist Little Johnny be seen by the school Psychologist, who “evaluates” the boy. The Psychologist, an “expert” in “normal”, meets with mom and dad and shares the very sad news – “your son is just not normal. He has ADD. He has ADHD. He’s afraid of milk. He talks too much, except when he does not talk at all. He’s too tall, to creative, too Christian, too interested. Your son…” he says with gravitas…”is not NORMAL”.
You, knowing no better, believe this mountebank. And since it seems so important to be “normal”, per the teacher, the principal, and the quack, well – you just want what’s right for your son. (I REALLY understand the desire to do what is right and helpful for our children! Every parent understands that drive. But having a “normal” child is NOT best or right for a child, any child. If you do not understand that or believe it, you have not been reading or thinking carefully enough.)
You want what’s best for Little Johnny. (Substitute your own child’s name here, please.) So, you go into agreement with the “experts” – even though you know your own child far more profoundly or truly than these people ever could. Why agree? Well, they’re “experts”, aren’t they? So the Ritalin or whatever gets prescribed, and a child’s life and individuality takes a huge step toward being destroyed.
Yes, I said exactly what I said, and I have a nephew who is the walking, talking proof of it. So teachers and psychobabilists, don’t bother to write in to defend the harm you’ve done, I’ve witnessed it up close and personally both as a teacher and as a family man, for a long time. And parents, if you’re using such “solutions”, please meet with a qualified medical doctor and find out how to wean your child off, starting today. Restore the hope of the extraordinary to your child – the future starts there.
A child is not a dog. A child is not a pet of any kind, and does not need to be “controlled”. Kept safe, yes. Encouraged and inspired, certainly. Exposed to the world in ways that will interest and enliven him, one would hope.
Children should and must talk, and when they feel like it – not when the “teacher” says its okay, for two minutes between classes. Children must inquire, and explore, and be encouraged to express their uniqueness. Schools are not able to encourage communication or unique views and skills. They are all of them built around the ideal of the “norm”. They are cookie-cutters, putting out identical, reduced human beings. That’s what schools do, and it’s pretty much all they can do, be they public or private schools. I’ve taught in both and saw this to be the absolute case. Grading, report cards, teacher or staff evaluations of the student, classrooms, grade levels, school rules, class schedules, testing and all the other tools teachers claim “expertise” in are each and every one carefully designed to degrade the individual, to stop them from thinking for themselves and to succumb to “authority” – the ultimate goal of the teacher and the school, unstated but nonetheless true.
When we stop the child from talking or asking questions, we stop up curiosity and creativity both. When we demand uniformity (or their outward show, school uniforms), we enforce in the child’s mind the idea that he must be like all others, look like them, act like them, think like them. Teachers LOVE this kind of conformity – it makes for such nice and quiet classrooms. But it is the death warrant for the civilization going that route. Down that road waits the edge of the world, and a very long and silent fall after the last step.
Steven Horwich is an Emmy and Dramalogue award-winning writer/director, who has split his life between the arts and education. A teacher with over 35 years and over 20,000 hours of experience from elementary school through university-level teaching, he started homeschooling his own children in 2002. This led him to author over 300 courses since 2002, a complete curricula (excluding math) for ages 5-adult, called Connect The Thoughts. Over 20,000 people have used CTT since making it available via the Internet in 2007. His curricula is presented at www.connectthethoughts.com. There is over 5 hours of film explaining his courses and approach. He has authored a book about education today, Poor Cheated Little Johnny, and a teacher training program to go with it. He currently presents a free webinar about education and homeschooling every third Tuesday.
