by Natalie L. Komitsky
Remember when you thought everything would be so much better once you were all grown up? You could eat pizza for breakfast and be able to stay up all night long. But, we have ended up going to bed at a certain time, and we are careful about what we eat and when we eat it. Ironic don't you think?
And then we thought: "Wouldn't it be perfect to hold that tiny baby in our arms and stroke his little hand as he sleeps?" We can't wait to dress up our toddler in a cute dress and show her off to the world. Ah, but once again, when we actually get there, the whole story changes. Instead of cherishing the few precious moments we have, we quickly become obsessed with the things we are missing out on.
It's all about balance. To be excited about anything you do regularly, you need a break from it, that's why most jobs give you the weekend off. When you don't have to deal with that set of responsibilities for a couple of days, you are better prepared to face new challenges. This concept rings true with parenthood as well, although most of us don't find a way to get the break we need to achieve this balance.
Let's consider what happens if we don't get that break. Imagine it is a rainy day. You're going somewhere and your tire goes flat. You waste an hour or two taking care of that and then you suddenly realize you are were supposed to be at the doctor's office right now and you totally forgot. As you sigh, your 4-year-old is in the backseat taking his shoes off again and screaming about the toy he dropped. Now, Johnny's situation isn't really that big of a deal, but because it is on top of this pile of frustrations, it could make life seem unbearable. What are you likely to do? Will you speak to Johnny kindly in an effort to diffuse his frustration; or will you lose it and scream at him, releasing some of your own? When you don't have a way to get a break from your everyday challenges, they can build up and turn any nurturing mother into a mommy monster.
So, what can you do today to make sure that you stay out of monster territory?
1. Find other families like yours. When you engage in play dates, whether they are highly organized clubs or a spontaneous stop at a nearby park, you invite balance into your life. While your child plays with others (or even alone), you get a break from being her main source of entertainment. You can keep an eye on her from a distance while you sit back and get a breath of fresh air. At the same time, you can meet other mothers who live nearby and have similar lifestyles.
2. Offer your talents to others. What better way to get a break than to ask someone else to take your place while you get away. Sometimes, because of a lack of money or trust, this isn't an easy option; however, it is never impossible. Each and every one of us has something special to offer. Are you good at baking, sewing, or storytelling? Maybe you are a whiz at math or you love to do hands-on science. Be creative and find a way to offer yourself as a tutor, caterer, or sewing teacher. This small investment of your time will help you in many ways. It will help you meet more people who recognize your talent. In addition, helping others will lift your spirits. And, most importantly, it will put you in a position to exchange services. Once you spend some time with other parents (or responsible teens), you will find new opportunities to exchange your time with others for mutual benefit.
3. Get involved in your local community. Keep up-to-date by reading your local newsletter or newspaper. Along with helpful information for your zip code, you will find opportunities to connect. It isn't only other mothers who can help you. It could be that your neighbor has a special talent that you or your children can put to good use. It's all about networking. Once people get to know you and your family, more and more opportunities to share each other's talents and time will be revealed.
4. Family matters. In an ideal circumstance, we would like to count on family members for free childcare. But, the reality is that most people are being pulled in all different directions these days, and as a result, our family members might not be as available as we would like. Here's a hint. Try to sweeten the deal by figuring out a way that you can help this person with her needs, something that she would not expect or ask for. Especially concerning family relationships, people tend to be shy to ask for help, or to make themselves available to help, for fear of long-term consequences. But, when the opportunity begins to look mutually beneficial, the situation can change dramatically.
Hopefully, these tips will help you avoid becoming a mommy monster. We all need balance in our lives. It's not always easy, but with a little creativity, we can develop opportunities to help each other with win-win situations.
As a wordsmith, Natalie L. Komitsky optimizes the effectiveness of text to impact readers with substance and style through exceptional research, writing, editing, and project management. For more information, or to get in touch, visit: www.nkomitsky.com
Remember when you thought everything would be so much better once you were all grown up? You could eat pizza for breakfast and be able to stay up all night long. But, we have ended up going to bed at a certain time, and we are careful about what we eat and when we eat it. Ironic don't you think?
And then we thought: "Wouldn't it be perfect to hold that tiny baby in our arms and stroke his little hand as he sleeps?" We can't wait to dress up our toddler in a cute dress and show her off to the world. Ah, but once again, when we actually get there, the whole story changes. Instead of cherishing the few precious moments we have, we quickly become obsessed with the things we are missing out on.
It's all about balance. To be excited about anything you do regularly, you need a break from it, that's why most jobs give you the weekend off. When you don't have to deal with that set of responsibilities for a couple of days, you are better prepared to face new challenges. This concept rings true with parenthood as well, although most of us don't find a way to get the break we need to achieve this balance.
Let's consider what happens if we don't get that break. Imagine it is a rainy day. You're going somewhere and your tire goes flat. You waste an hour or two taking care of that and then you suddenly realize you are were supposed to be at the doctor's office right now and you totally forgot. As you sigh, your 4-year-old is in the backseat taking his shoes off again and screaming about the toy he dropped. Now, Johnny's situation isn't really that big of a deal, but because it is on top of this pile of frustrations, it could make life seem unbearable. What are you likely to do? Will you speak to Johnny kindly in an effort to diffuse his frustration; or will you lose it and scream at him, releasing some of your own? When you don't have a way to get a break from your everyday challenges, they can build up and turn any nurturing mother into a mommy monster.
So, what can you do today to make sure that you stay out of monster territory?
1. Find other families like yours. When you engage in play dates, whether they are highly organized clubs or a spontaneous stop at a nearby park, you invite balance into your life. While your child plays with others (or even alone), you get a break from being her main source of entertainment. You can keep an eye on her from a distance while you sit back and get a breath of fresh air. At the same time, you can meet other mothers who live nearby and have similar lifestyles.
2. Offer your talents to others. What better way to get a break than to ask someone else to take your place while you get away. Sometimes, because of a lack of money or trust, this isn't an easy option; however, it is never impossible. Each and every one of us has something special to offer. Are you good at baking, sewing, or storytelling? Maybe you are a whiz at math or you love to do hands-on science. Be creative and find a way to offer yourself as a tutor, caterer, or sewing teacher. This small investment of your time will help you in many ways. It will help you meet more people who recognize your talent. In addition, helping others will lift your spirits. And, most importantly, it will put you in a position to exchange services. Once you spend some time with other parents (or responsible teens), you will find new opportunities to exchange your time with others for mutual benefit.
3. Get involved in your local community. Keep up-to-date by reading your local newsletter or newspaper. Along with helpful information for your zip code, you will find opportunities to connect. It isn't only other mothers who can help you. It could be that your neighbor has a special talent that you or your children can put to good use. It's all about networking. Once people get to know you and your family, more and more opportunities to share each other's talents and time will be revealed.
4. Family matters. In an ideal circumstance, we would like to count on family members for free childcare. But, the reality is that most people are being pulled in all different directions these days, and as a result, our family members might not be as available as we would like. Here's a hint. Try to sweeten the deal by figuring out a way that you can help this person with her needs, something that she would not expect or ask for. Especially concerning family relationships, people tend to be shy to ask for help, or to make themselves available to help, for fear of long-term consequences. But, when the opportunity begins to look mutually beneficial, the situation can change dramatically.
Hopefully, these tips will help you avoid becoming a mommy monster. We all need balance in our lives. It's not always easy, but with a little creativity, we can develop opportunities to help each other with win-win situations.
As a wordsmith, Natalie L. Komitsky optimizes the effectiveness of text to impact readers with substance and style through exceptional research, writing, editing, and project management. For more information, or to get in touch, visit: www.nkomitsky.com
